samedi 15 janvier 2011

L'accouchement

C’est un grand moment dans ma vie. Début mai 1977. J’arrive à l’hôpital Saint-Michel avec ma Denise qui va accoucher de notre premier enfant. Les « eaux » ont crevé et commencé à couler. Nous sommes fortement sur les nerfs, notamment parce que le bébé sera prématuré (environ 4 semaines).

Bon ! On installe Denise dans une chambre près de la grande salle des accouchements. Et commence l’attente. Et ces crampes abdominales qui reviennent à intervalles plus rapprochés et qui font souffrir Denise. Je suis à côté d’elle pour lui frotter doucement la bedaine et surtout l’encourager : c’est le plus grand jour de notre vie. Lorsqu’elle réussi à se calmer et que les douleurs s’amenuisent, je sors de la chambre pour la laisser se reposer et aller me changer les idées dans le corridor. Quand elle recommence à geindre ou gémir, je vais aussitôt la rejoindre et ainsi de suite.

Bizarrement, je me souviens très bien qu’il y avait un monsieur italien qui vivait la même chose que moi sur l’étage ce jour-là. Mais lui, contrairement à moi, il sortait de la chambre de sa femme … quand les douleurs commençaient et retournait la voir quand les cris de souffrance arrêtaient. « Pas capable de voir ma femme souffrir » m’avait-il dit.

Je fais un peu de fast forward pour arriver au moment où j’ai l’air fou … parce que ceux qui me connaissent un peu savent très bien que dans ces grands moments de ma vie, j’ai cette curieuse manie de me ridiculiser bien involontairement.

Nous sommes donc dans la salle des accouchements. Denise est bien installée sur la table, les jambes en l’air avec le docteur qui l’encourage et lui donne les conseils et quand « forcer ». Moi je suis à l’autre extrémité de la table, près de la tête de Denise que je tiens entre mes deux mains et que je bécote en l’encourageant.

Le petit Jean-François s’en vient. Il va sortir. Mais je ne vois pas bien dans le miroir au dessus de la table. Je me lève donc debout et me penche pour mieux voir la « sortie » du tunnel de Denise. L’infirmière me demande de m’asseoir et de regarder dans le miroir. Ce que je fais contre mon gré puisque je n’y vois pas grand chose dans le kriss de miroir.

Le travail progresse. Je suis énervé et, je me relève encore pour mieux voir la grande sortie de mon fils. L’infirmière me remet la main sur l’épaule et m’ordonne de m’asseoir et de regarder dans le miroir.

« On voit rien dans votre kriss de miroir » que je réplique en montrant du doigt le fameux miroir.

Et là l’infirmière de me répliquer :

« Ça monsieur, c’est pas le miroir. C’est la lampe d’éclairage avec son dessous bombé en chrome. Le miroir, le vrai miroir, il est sur la gauche, juste là ».

J’ai regardé sur la gauche et aperçu un magnifique et formidable miroir de 1 mètre par 3 mètres qui m’a montré absolument tout de l’arrivée sur terre de mon futur pompier. Absolument tout !

Moi qui regardais dans ce rond de chrome (comme on voit déformé dans une bouilloire chromée), j’ai donc été la risée du personnel de l’obstétrique pendant quelques instants. Pas grave, notre bébé pesait 5 livres et deux onces, donc juste assez lourd pour éviter un séjour en incubateur.

58 commentaires:

Pierre-Leon a dit…

T'inquiètes, je passe mes soirées à me débattre avec du monde qui ne semble pas savoir que ça existe des miroirs! ;-)

Jolie histoire et bonne année en retard...

Barbe blanche a dit…

puis je te dire, qu'il n'y a pas beaucoup de personnes , parmis le commun des mortels, qui sont instruits de toute l'artillerie d'une salle d'accouchement et de sa disposition dans l'espace...

crocomickey a dit…

C'est ce que je me disais aussi ... pour avoir l'air moins fou !

Accent Grave a dit…

Elle est bien bonne!

accent Grave

LeadPipe a dit…

J'avais une connaissance, pas vraiment un ami, quoique lui me considérait son ami. Ce qui parfois n'est pas réciproque, mais passons. Il étudiait pour devenir prêtre et l'est devenu. Il ne comprenait pas qu'au moment où une femme allait accoucher, elle crevait ses "os".
Nous n'avons plus de contact, mais je pourrais mette un lien si vous désirez lui voir la face.

Barbe blanche a dit…

@ Lead pipe,
Os St Esprit venez en lui..........

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